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| Replacing One Addiction With Another | ||
| A relationship is an addictive thing and like most addictions our bodies and minds are in total shock when we are in a situation where it is no longer possible to get our fix. Sadly, the patch for love has not been invented (though some claim that chocolate can fulfil this role), so we are left to cold turkey, our life imploding in on us - not exploding as the wider world is somehow not affected by our internal tempest that rips through head, heart and stomach. The first reaction of someone who has either given up or lost the supply of their addiction is to find a replacement. This can literally mean replacing the lost beloved with a surrogate for you affections, attentions and intentions, however the new for old will be covered in a later article. | Sadly, the patch for love has not been invented | |
| Cigarettes are of course slightly different, the altering affect of them not really marked enough on their own to induce some respite from thoughts of Ex unless they are altered themselves or taken with alcohol. Taking up smoking is generally a psychological marker that says life is different and a reflection on your new found lack of confidence. Those, like me, who smoked already smoke more and resolve to carry on, because the Ex would often remind you that this was one of your less endearing qualities. | ||
| Drugs of course are another story altogether and they are to be approached carefully at all times, but especially so during those raw weeks/months/years after a break-up. The main danger is that one over-indulges, when you are faced with a lot of time on your hands recreational drugs can be particularly tempting, but remember your mind is altered already. The pain of parting changes even the strongest of us and the most idiotic things have been done in the name of independence, self-fulfilment and trying to convince yourself that you are in fact fine. Take for instance Josh. In the pit of despair and tears Josh took some Speed and promptly was able to go on crying for 24 hours and had to be coaxed down with marijuana, herbal tea and Teletubby videos. | recreational drugs can be particularly tempting | |
| Even that most natural and socially acceptable of drugs Cannabis should be used with caution. One friend explained once that him and his ex often partook in several joints across the span of an evening mixed with wine and slow love. All very well until after the break-up he came to smoke a joint by himself to aid with sleep. This immediately had the effect of miring him in unrequited feelings of lust and love - a difficult place to be if the very thing that has placed you there has taken away your ability to be rational over the situation. | ||
| Caution should be employed after the
break-up and for some time after as, and I stress again, on one level you are already
‘out of it’, so get drunk-stoned-high by all means but make sure it is in the
company of friends and that the week has more nights in it where you are sober, clean and
otherwise unaffected by stimuli. This way you may find that between the ups and the downs
a balance will come that may start to resemble normality. © Tim Towle, 1998. All rights reserved. |
caution should be employed after the break-up | |
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| Go to other articles: | ||
| How To Forget Your Ex - Sleep Around or Abstinence - The Tactics of Visual Distraction - Stay Friends, Never See Each Other? - How Do We Know What’s Real? | ||
