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| Sleep Around or Abstinence? | ||
| In many ways this a hypothetical question - I know few males who have the good fortune to make this a realistic choice. Most of us at some points in our lives have a lucky streak that will last a short time and consequently is lifted to mythical status about the second we look back and work out that we have slept with three people in three weeks, no matter what the quality of the liaisons or the circumstances. No, abstinence isn’t a choice, merely the normal state of affairs. However, it is a state of mind. Many react to a break-up by changing from a mild mannered, quietly unconfident man to a raging hunter who’s only thoughts are sexual conquests. | abstinence isn't a choice, merely the normal state of affairs | |
| David, a friend of some standing was a classic case. Sitting in the pub with his new and very expensive clothes he waxed lyrical about how, during one holiday with his Ex they met a delightful blonde who frequented the hotel bar. The blonde had chatted to him in a relaxed, fluid and downright flirtatious manner and had it not been for the fact that he was with Samantha (whom he was more than fond of) the blonde and him wouldn’t have hesitated to re-define the orgasm. David felt that his talents had been hidden away from the world by the selfish Samantha and now convinced himself that he was in fact a love god who merely took a temporary detour into monogamy to give other poor saps a chance. Now rested, refreshed, older (but not too much older) and wiser he is back, hello girls! In reality this meant that David would offer every passing female from sixteenish to fiftyish a smile, or an open door, or a long languid look so that might they might drown in the ocean of his eyes. What the women on the receiving end saw was a desperate prick. | ||
| I try hard not be didactic, I am all too aware of the idiocies we all perpetrate because of the loss of love, but you are NOT a love God. You may be handsome, even good looking, you may be a Sensitive New Age Guy you may even be great in the sack. You do not, however, need to invest in a ticketing system and turnstile for your front door. What we forget in the confusion of a break-up is one of the great ironies of the romantic and sexual worlds: when you have a girlfriend you seem to attract women with ease and without trying, but when you don’t have a girlfriend the old magic doesn’t seem to work. When you are in love or even settled in a long term relationship you are - happy, buoyant, relaxed, a nice person to be around - an attractive, happy human. Your girlfriend isn’t the obstacle to the delightful blonde, she’ s the reason Ms.Delightful is talking to you in the first place. | I am aware of the idiocies we all perpetrate because of the loss of love | |
| What happens if you do manage by Luck, Good Fortune or other glibly named cocktails, to find yourself involved with another after the split. In a straw poll of friends all experienced in the area of forgetting their Ex's’, over 75% of them agreed that getting off with somebody else does not in fact help. The morning after, the strangeness of your co-conspirator serves to remind you just how close you were to your ex. The casualness of the thing emphasises just how alone you are. Worse still, if along with the cigarette your new found friend asks for post-coital commitment, involvement and affection you will find yourself unable to give it. The fact that she’s a woman and you’re a man is no basis for a relationship. | ||
| Josh found this out to his cost. The
third week of his single life, attending a small soiree of friends he met a close friend
of a friend of mine, Amanda. They got on very well and found they had a mutual
appreciation of Vodka and Tonic. In the morning they woke up to discover that whereas Josh
was just out of a relationship and couldn’t see himself getting involved, Amanda was,
on the contrary, well over her last boyfriend and was feeling she could now handle
commitment. Also in the heat of passion they had both agreed that the vodka would in fact
sterilise Josh’s sperm so they didn’t bother with a condom. In fact they agreed
on this three separate times. Johnny Muller of the old black and white Tarzan fame was
able to hold his breath under water for a full four minutes but this is not a patch on
Josh who seemed to hold his breath for a full two and half weeks until he bumped into
Amanda out shopping. Josh , the concerned and sensitive chap he is, inquired into the
state her menstrual cycle. Amanda laughed and said not to worry - she had started her
period three days after the evening they had spent together. Josh and I had a muted
celebration with a bottle of very cheap Champagne. Although it did seem to take his mind
of his Ex. © Tim Towle, 1998. All rights reserved. |
in the heat of passion they had agreed that the Vodka would in fact sterilise Josh's sperm | |
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| Go to other articles: | ||
| How To Forget Your Ex - The Tactics of Visual Distraction - Replacing One Addiction With Another - Stay Friends, Never See Each Other? - How Do We Know What’s Real? | ||
